100 Million BC

Review by 42nd Street Pete

2008 - Asylum Home Entertainment Starring Michael Gross, Greg Evigan, & Christopher Atkins. Directed by Louie Myman

Time travel epic with an elite team sent back in time to retrieve another team that was sent back in the 40’s . Premise is good, but the bad CG stuff kills it. Raptors attack and kill most of the rescue team. The T-Rex is red and Michael Gross looks pretty gross with his balding head covered with liver spots. Guess the budget didn’t allow for make up.

The 40’s women have 2000 style enhanced boobage, the CG stuff sucks and nobody noticed a bright red T-Rex roaming around LA at night. Christopher Atkins seems to be a fixture in these crappy films as of late.

Dexter - Season 3, Episode 2: “Finding Freebo”

Review by Alyson

Last week Dexter accidentally killed Oscar Prado, brother of Miguel Prado (Jimmy Smits!) while trying to kill murderous drug dealer, Freebo. Freebo is now the prime suspect in the case and is being hunted by Miami Metro and Dexter. Freebo has seen Dexter and our favorite serial killer must catch him before the police.

Rita is desperately trying to get dear Daddy Dexter to talk to her about their future child. Dexter is distracted by the thoughts of spawning what could turn into a little monster like him.

Miguel Prado, knowing that Dexter has an interest in his brother’s murder starts to bond with him. So, when Prado finds Dexter leaving a garage after killing Freebo, he quickly decides that Dexter avenged his brother’s death. Dexter told him it was self defense after he followed a forensics lead. They now share a secret no one can find out about.

This episode penned by Melissa Rosenberg (how happy I am that both “Dexter” and the “Twilight” feature are in good hands), doesn’t disappoint on the foul language front. There’s even a frat party with lots of “ho” dialogue, including “ho-pad,” my new favorite term.

Every time there is a sensitive scene between former lovers Prado and Laguerta there is acoustic Spanish guitar in the background and that’s starting to be the element I notice most in those scenes.

I am ready for everything to start unfolding in the next few episodes.

Dexter - Season 3, Episode 1: “Our Father”

Review by Alyson

Dear, deadly Dexter is back to delight the dark passenger that dwells inside us all. Dexter’s first target this season is a drug dealer that has killed two girls. After buying some product from the dealer and scoping out his lair, Dexter shows up to do the deed only to find another man is holding a knife to the dealer. Dexter gets into a rumble with the man with the knife, kills him and runs away.

It turns out the man who was killed worked with a youth organization and was brother to prosecutor Miguel Prado. Prado is played by the only man that could follow a Carradine: Jimmy Smits! While under suspicion of Prado, Dexter must help piece together the murder.

Deb got a haircut and is dying to get her detective shield, while my buddy Angel is promoted to Sergeant. Internal Affairs is trying to get Deb to find some info on a new officer she works with and is bribing her with a detective’s shield.

Rita and the kids are happy and content; Rita is glowing and is in what seems to be constant post-coital bliss. She realizes that she must be pregnant! Bring on Daddy Dexter!

Michael C. Hall, like always, is more than you could hope for from the literary Dexter Morgan character.

I’m wondering what is going to make up for the lack of Doakes. Is Jimmy Smits enough? And Deb is trying to be more professional this season, so I am really not going to get my fill of hilarious swearing.

Every single shot in frame is stunning and the music is great, as always.

Our favorite monster is turning more and more into a man. Are we ready for that?

True Blood - Episode 4: "Escape from Dragon House"

Review by Alyson

I'm getting really into the "True Blood" theme Suburban Vampire by country singer Jace Everett – what a good way to start a show. Check it out if you aren't watching.

This week one of the girls that works at the bar is found dead, and of course with vampire bite marks since she was a fang banger. Jason is suspected of her death since he slept with her right before her demise, but he's innocent. On his way to the sheriff's station Jason drinks the entire vile of vampire blood he has which leaves him with an erection that warrants an emergency room visit.

Sookie has Bill take her to the local vampire bar "Fangtasia" (vampires love puns!) to find information about the recently slain girls.

And finally, Sam lets himself into the dead girl's apartment and while wearing rubber gloves, rolls around in her sheets sniffing them.

Things just keep getting weirder.

Jason isn't a vampire yet, but I'm still betting on him being changed very soon. I also suspect that my favorite, Bill isn't going to be around for long. I'd like to see what "True Blood" will do then to keep my attention.

There was an instance of super fast vampire running in this episode and it was kind of weird looking since you couldn't see their feet. It looked like floating, but if you could see the effect on the feet it would have probably been really cheesy looking.

There was also a very short, gory, bathroom feeding sequence that was badass.

I'd like to do a retrospective episode rating system. On a scale of 1-5: Episode 1 = 4, Episode 2 = 3, Episode 3 = 4.5, and now I'll give Episode 4 a 4 out of 5. Check back next week to see if Episode 5 can get a 5, I hope so.

True Blood - Episode 3: Mine

Review by Alyson

Okay, the annoying vampire coven that was introduced last week on "True Blood" is bothering me less. There is one who is a Southern gay vampire with a soul patch, a sassy Chaka Khan-esque vamp and a bald, tribal tattooed dude that wiggles his tongue all the time - and that one just makes me feel icky. These vampires are the ones that Bill says are evil vampires. They don't totally agree that vampires should have gone public and they just want to keep making ghouls and feeding on humans.

This "nest" of vampires show up at Bill's unannounced and he has to make sure they know that Sookie is his and that they cannot try to feed on her. Sookie leaves the house upset by the visiting vamps and tries to stay away from Bill. Virginal Sookie is feeling bad about using Bill as masturbatory fodder and doesn't trust herself around him, but Bill is still trying to court her.

Sookie's best friend Tara gets beat by her bible thumpin' drunken mama and convinces her boss (who remember, is in love with Sookie) Sam to sleep with her to alleviate their mutual loneliness.

Jason begins to have erectile dysfunction as he thinks of his girlfriend's previous vampire sex, so he visits Lafayette (Tara's super flamboyant, gold pants-wearing,-short order cook, drug dealing, gigolo cousin) to obtain Viagra, but Lafayette hooks him up with vampire blood instead.

As the characters grow on you, "True Blood" gets better. I had a hard time figuring out how to feel about Sookie at the beginning. She's so naïve and sweet, but short and fierce with people as well. At first I thought the way her character was written wasn't working, but now she's really a multi-faceted likeable character. Bill I loved from the first moment he was on screen, but he's a well-mannered hot vampire that wears his jeans well, so what's not to like? Every scene with Lafayette is just delightful.

Now that I care about the characters I'm getting excited for the future episodes, but it usually takes the first few to get into that zone. Also, I usually watch shows on DVD, so I don't have the chance to think about the one episode all week – I'll just blast through a season in a weekend typically.

I do not like Jason's character. He's too high strung, annoying, and extremely anti-vampire. It's obvious he's going to become one of the vampires. I wonder if overdosing on V-Juice can change him into one.

"True Blood" has its campy moments, but I guess that's how vampire TV shows must go. I'm a novice in vamp TV, though. I never watched "Buffy" or "Angel" or even "Kindred: the Embraced" for that matter. I am well versed in vampire film and literature, however, and "True Blood" is reserving its spot in my personal vampire realm.

True Blood - Episode 2: The First Taste

Review by Alyson

The First Taste is an episode mostly devoted to character development; less plot unfolds than in the first episode of "True Blood."

Last week we left Sookie as she was under attack. The couple she had stopped from stealing Bill the vampire's blood came to get even. This time Bill saves Sookie's life, and as she's dying on the ground Bill feeds her his blood to heal her.

Sookie gains heightened senses and libido from Bill's blood and a sort of bond forms. Bill can now tell where Sookie is when they're apart. The blood, however, doesn't transform Sookie into a vampire.

Sookie's brother Jason continuously has crazy sex with women that have fang marks on their bodies. On the bright side, Jason finds out that he hasn't committed the murder he was suspect of.

Bill agrees to speak to Sookie's grandmother's Civil War history group and soon after Sookie makes a move on the vampire.

Social commentary regarding the war, immigrants and gay rights are prevalent at this point in "True Blood." There is also some blatant symbolism (e.g. a small innocent blonde girl napping in front of a black wolf in a painting) going on, and that always gives me a strange feeling. I'd prefer it to be subtle.

When the vampire fangs come out in the show, they snap down like a pop-up switchblade. Fang transformations are one of the things I look for and this isn't my favorite method.

Some new vampires are introduced toward the end of The First Taste. One, in particular, is kind of obnoxious. In a world where vampires are real, they can't all be stoic, brooding beauties I suppose.

So far, "True Blood" is good, but considering how amazing "Six Feet Under" was, I'm anxious to see what is going to unfold. Every TV show HBO develops turns to gold and no doubt some wonderful things are waiting to happen in "True Blood."

True Blood - Episode 1: Strange Love

Review by Alyson

So, a vampire walks into a bar – no joke – and that scene is what's going to make me tune into next week's episode of True Blood on HBO. The first episode of True Blood was written and directed by Alan (Six Feet Under) Ball and follows Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) a mind reading, Jesus-loving waitress in Louisiana. True Blood is set in a world where vampires are real and have interest groups that are trying to get a Vampire Rights Amendment passed. The Japanese have created a synthetic blood that vamps are able to order up in bars, making them somewhat less of a threat to mortals. Meanwhile, humans seek out V Juice (vampire blood) to drink as it makes them feel healthier and it improves their sex lives. Bill, a handsome new vampire in town (the town's first vampire, to be precise) is already in Sookie's debt because she saved him from a bloodletting that two local drug dealers were performing. The immediate charisma between Bill and Sookie is everything a vampire fan could hope for. Sookie's brother Jason (who is suspected of the murder of a "Fang Banger" a.k.a person who seeks out vampire sex), best friend Tara (the loud mouth tough girl that can't hold down a job) and boss Sam (who is in love with Sookie) all disapprove of her fascination with Bill. And Sookie soon finds herself in trouble. Like Six Feet Under, True Blood used a dream sequence to further the plot and I'm sure there will be more to come in future episodes. There are clever jump shots used and the saturation of the colors is beautiful. HBO original series easily leave the viewer wanting more, and True Blood's debut episode doesn't just make you think the series has the potential of being good, I'm already anticipating next Sunday. Check back next week for a review of episode two.